It has been a rough couple days going at this stay-at-home mom, all alone thing.
Keeping everyone nourished, stimulated, cared for and happy is daunting many days.
This morning is one where I had to recall God’s promise to not leave or forsake me lest I would have blown a fuse. Reminding myself of his promises reminds me of his presence. He’s not there to scold or berate my humanity, but to guide me through.
When the baby cried and the toddler whined, I had to focus my thoughts on that alone. Faith in that promise, believing it to be true is all I had to get through.
It’s all I needed. It’s all I’ll ever need.
In this season of life that we’re in of cramped apartment living, I’m learning to trust each day. I don’t love the effort it takes to climb down 17 steep steps to venture outside with a baby wrapped on my back and a toddler to keep from harms way. But it’s my sanity saver. It’s all I’ve got.
Oh the ground kissing I’ll do when we buy a house with a yard! One without gargantuan ant hills and stinky dog poop.
Getting outside, regardless, is good for us. The fresh air, wildlife and…
…even the rain.
Silly me neglected a weather check glance out the window before the usual undertaking to get outdoors. You can imagine my frustration to see we wouldn’t be going out.
It took a moment to let go. I ran the scenarios through my mind. Tell the toddler we weren’t going out and endure the tantrum because he can’t understand mommy not wanting to get a little wet. Or go out in it and endure a wiggling baby who is getting wet.
But then I remembered something.
I remembered how much fun I had playing in the rain when I was little. So I swallowed my contempt.
We got a little wet and we didn’t melt. And truthfully, it was only a little sprinkle. I decided we would cross the bridge of a deluge, should it come, when we got there.
These images were worth every ounce of energy spent.
I’m learning that I really do have zero control over my circumstances and sometimes my circumstances are really going to feel not at all the blessings they truly are. I’m learning that my feelings lie. I’m learning about my faith. I’m seeing God in ways I never have before.
Let me hear from you!
What helps you change your emotional state? What gets you through? What have you learned?