My blog is supposed to feature my growth in photography, but the only growth I’ve done lately is in getting old.

Truth is, I’ve given up… for now. I suppose a true photographer still shoots rain, sleet, or poopy diapers galore.

It’s annoying to hear people go on about how busy and exhausted they are, so I won’t.

What I will say is, I’ve given up.

How do I know this?

I opened my fridge yesterday to find a toy fire truck inside. How did it get in there? Your guess is as good as mine. The door is child proofed only as much as the safety latch is secure.

How, again I ask, do I know I’ve given up? I didn’t move said fire truck.

I left him -it has windshield eyeballs- in the chill between the grapes and the sweet tea.

He sat there while I mused over the irony of having a fire truck in the fridge.

That’s not all.

Even though it has always been a work in progress, my home is where I like to decorate. Or at least try.

How do I know I’ve given up?

Tow Mater and his new Dream Lights Pillow Pet friend are regular fixtures on my overpriced Bassett console table. My son has been telling them goodnight there for the past few days. He says, “nigh Mae.”

It’s cute.

I’ve started putting them there at night when I pick up because the space is empty anyway. The pictures and candles just can’t take the beating from an almost two-year-old. Maybe that makes me look lazy. I don’t care. And I don’t care about my “stuff” enough to scold him so I can keep them there for collecting dust.

I’m too lazy to take a picture of my new decor. Why?

I’ve given up. Remember?

Perhaps the kicker is looking back over my day and reflecting on a poopy diaper that sent me straight to the sink. Sometimes just looking at poop makes me want a shower. Full body scrub down. I’m not cut out for this mess! I returned to my daughter who was as happy as she could be… because she was nakey. I completely forgot to diaper her.

Usually I’m decent at getting them dressed and keeping them fed and happy, but with everything else…

I’ve given up.

And you know something? I’m okay with that.

I’m okay knowing the “things” in my life aren’t precious. That even during days, like today, when I feel stuck in a rut because I get almost zero “me” time EVER, I know what matters.

I have the good fortune to BE with my kids.

And I’ll look back knowing in giving up, I got it all.